Appeasement of Radhika Read online

Discarding her clothes

  Settling for a crumpled, old sari

  Overwhelmed with frustration

  Tired of life and cursing her fate,

  Radha wove her way to her room,

  Throwing herself on her neglected bed,

  The parrot followed …

  57. Restless, lonely, overwhelmed with sadness

  Dejected, betrayed, listless

  She fainted over and again

  Cursing Ila and Hari!

  58. Startled, sighing and feigning tiredness,

  Muttering and shaking

  Lonely and annoyed

  She shook astounded at the

  Unexpected turn of events.

  59. ‘Come here,’ she beckoned,

  ‘Listen to some strange tidings

  Hear what my love has done

  I now bear the brunt of people’s pity and scorn

  Out! Be gone, stay with her.

  Rejoice! King of Yadavas.’

  60. She brooded:

  ‘The veena, that never left my lap

  Is it being played by that woman?

  The parrot that carried out only my orders

  Is it now sitting on that woman’s wrist?

  The maids who followed me night and day

  Do they now receive orders from her?

  Does my mirror now reflect her beautiful face?

  Who sits on my lovely swing?

  Who wears my jewels?

  Who is Souri making love to?

  I know not.

  Only that my life won’t last long …

  61. ‘Joyous are they all

  With the all-pervading Lord.

  The killer of demons who satiates all

  But me.

  That Govinda’s tryst with her

  Has turned me into a stranger

  Leaving me

  Saddened.

  62. ‘Oh, to shut the gossiping maids

  Laughing at my plight?

  Abandoned as I am by Hari

  To gouge out the eyes of the maids

  Who wink and nod knowingly

  To jab the breasts of the maids

  Enjoying themselves at my expense

  To beat the heads of the maids

  Who tease and make fun

  As my bangles slip off my wrists

  Getting thinner by the day

  I want to punish these maids

  Making fun of my predicament.

  63. ‘Oh! All I want is to reach

  The Yadava king

  Beckon him

  Kiss him ardently

  Hold him long and hard

  Until my body becomes one with his.’

  64. Saying this, growing more despondent,

  On seeing the parrot,

  The lotus-eyed Radha,

  Cried louder, lamenting her lost love:

  65. ‘My dear parrot,’

  She said with concern.

  ‘Did anyone shoo you away?

  Was anyone disrespectful to you?

  Were you called Radhika’s duta?

  Were they annoyed?

  Did they offer you sugar candy?

  You who cannot tolerate discomfort,

  How were you treated?

  66. ‘You, my parrot,

  Were you ignored by the maidens?

  Did they know your hunger?

  Did they offer you sesame and rice?

  Even in my dreams, I would not have

  Tolerated such treatment.

  Did they abandon you too,

  Like they have done me?’

  67. Deeply hurt at the treatment meted out to her parrot and unsure of how her maids were treated, she asked them:

  68. ‘Did that slender woman hurt you?

  Was she rude?

  O women with the elephant gait,

  Did she seem jealous?

  O ladies with curly hair like bees,

  Was the sweet-voiced lady harsh with you?

  Was her face red with anger,

  O maidens with red lips,

  Did she complain about you?

  Was she severe with you?

  Did her grudge against me

  Rub off on you?

  Even in my dreams,

  I did not believe

  That you would leave me

  Until now.

  69. ‘You women, who have faced no hardships,

  Are now, because of me,

  Facing the brunt …

  “Steel bears the brunt of fire,” as the saying goes, my dears!

  70./71. ‘It isn’t that I cannot find another

  Because I’m used to him.

  It isn’t that Krishna

  Will miss this bed of mine.

  Ah! No illusions there!

  It isn’t that Ila is gloating that

  Finally she’s rid

  Of me.

  It isn’t that friends and family

  Laugh at my plight.

  Not knowing who is your mistress

  Will sadden you all.

  All these days I’ve managed

  To keep my life intact

  But I cannot bear it any longer, my friends.’

  And she cried her heart out …

  72. Then the king of love appeared

  And shot his flower-tipped arrows at her,

  Sweat poured as the arrow

  Sliced her heart in two.

  73. Her body shivered

  Her lips quivered

  Her waist shuddered

  Her breasts heaved

  Her tresses loosened

  Her eyes closed

  She fell down in a faint.

  74. Their hearts going out to her,

  She who was impacted by the Love God’s antics

  Looking at her

  Hearts brimming with affection

  Stood the ladies-in-waiting.

  75. Jasmine creepers collapsed

  Scorched by her searing sighs

  Sniffing the warm breeze around her

  Parrots and nightingales backed off, disgruntled

  Fresh leaves strewn on her bed

  Lost their lushness

  Gold necklaces around her neck

  Hung limp, lustreless

  Breaking into pieces

  Water turned to poison

  Everything she touched turned lifeless.

  76. ‘What can we say?’

  ‘What can we do?’

  ‘What can we say of her plight?’

  ‘O Lord, can we seek advice?’

  ‘What can be done for this high-breasted woman?’

  77. One beauty placed a scented vessel near her

  Another poured out perfumed water

  One lady scattered jasmine flowers

  Another decorated her with beautiful tulips

  One put lotus flowers

  Another fresh buds

  One sprinkled her with cool water

  The rest did the same and more

  They tried their best to appease Radha

  So struck by Manmatha.

  78. Fragrant perfume wafting from the lady’s breasts,

  Like a gust from Ananga’s breath,

  Ignited her body.

  As though offering with outstretched arms,

  ‘This lamp I offer thee, Manmatha,

  Burning without cotton or oil.’

  79. The appeasement by her maids

  Worked not.

  More like pesticide to the lemon tree it was!

  It ended up only aggravating her yearning.

  Seeing this, one concerned maiden, in despair,

  Prayed to Manmatha, the god of love:

  80./81. ‘O! Lover of Rati

  Whose weapon is the lotus

  The one who walks with a swan’s gait

  Whose vahana is the parrot

  The one who brings with him the cool Malaya breeze

  Whose beauty attracts the three worlds

  Manmatha

  Son of Padma, the great scholar,

  K
rishna’s son, friend and guide,

  The one with the sugarcane bow

  Strung with bees

  In whom all sringara rests

  The mind-born son of Brahma

  To this Manmatha I do pray!

  82. ‘The one who lifted Govardhana hill,

  My ishta devata,

  Pray put an end to Radhika’s troubles,

  O Son of God, the one who travels on the Garuda.’

  83. Paying obeisance to the Lord God,

  These sweet maidens wrote his name

  On a flower petal,

  Tying it with a sacred red thread

  Around Radha’s wrist.

  84. The lotus-faced maidens,

  Concerned and worried,

  Consoled her:

  ‘Cry not, my lovely!

  Certainly, the Lord will come,

  There are good omens all around.’

  85. Hearing the loving words of the maids,

  She opened her eyes, hoping to see Krishna

  And not seeing him, felt depressed,

  Yet again.

  86. As Manmatha’s fires ravaged her body,

  As tears overflowed flooding her breasts,

  Misery and anger clouding her face,

  She wept

  Like a peacock cries out when the sun hurts it.

  87. ‘Why lament?

  Perhaps I should I leave this body now!

  What good is it if it doesn’t belong to Shrihari,

  Killer of Mura?

  What good is a blind eye

  Whether it is open or shut, it makes no difference.

  88. ‘If only I could, one last time,

  Glance at that lady killer’s face …

  Have I committed so much sin?

  Why don’t you take pity at my plight?’

  89. As Radha thus lamented,

  The maids, eyes brimming with tears,

  Prayed that the time would come

  For him to arrive.

  90. ‘Here he comes!

  That’s his chariot!

  Let’s catch a glimpse,’ they said.

  ‘The god who upheld Govardhana is here

  The dispenser of darkness has arrived

  There rises the sun and with it lotus flowers

  Krishna has opened his eyes

  Look how the corners light up

  Here he comes,

  Don’t cry any more, my dear

  He will come,’ they chorused.

  91. As their voices rose

  The words reached Radha’s ears

  Only managing to increase her love

  Desire for Souri welling up in her heart.

  She stood, waiting,

  Expectantly.

  92. And there sat Krishna

  With his sakha Arjuna

  Recounting how he’d spied Radha’s little parrot

  Arriving quietly and departing surreptitiously.

  All of a sudden, he fell silent

  Saying nothing at all

  Sitting up, worrying and wondering

  What ill tidings had the bird borne?

  93. Rejecting the diamond necklaces offered by maids

  Refusing scented flower garlands

  Rebuffing the palanquin offered by friends

  Declining scented fans from gopis

  Putting aside lit lamps

  Discarding jewellery

  Disposing of garments,

  He stood

  Immune to all warnings.

  94. His hair hung loose

  Flowers fell

  As his heart beat faster with fear and remorse

  Suddenly feeling the pangs of separation,

  Pearl strings scattered, shattered …

  Then the wise man ran,

  To the sringara garden.

  95. He reached the beautiful garden

  And sitting there amongst his friends

  The man whose vahana is the Garuda,

  Remembering Radha,

  Spoke thus:

  96./97. ‘What message had she sent me

  Through that pet parrot of hers?

  What message would it have carried back

  Seeing me thus?

  The lovely-eyed lady, in anger,

  Must have turned into a tigress!

  Using this opportunity,

  Did her maids add fuel to fire?

  What must she think of me?

  What does God have in store?

  Is Saturn in my horoscope?

  98. ‘Why, oh why, did I ignore that parrot?

  Why did I leave her and come here?

  Stupid, stupid me!

  99. ‘How her heart must have hurt

  On listening to the parrot,

  Her face must have become downcast,

  Her lips dry, body shrivelled

  Miserable at Kamadeva’s antics,

  Eyes brimming with tears,

  What must have she thought?

  What suffering endured?

  What would she have done?

  100. ‘Saying, “I cannot live without you for a single moment,”

  She had held me tight.

  Saying, “I cannot stay away from you,”

  She had held my hands.

  Saying, “Promise you’ll send for me,”

  Her eyes had filled with tears.

  “Don’t forget me in her antics,”

  She had said, clinging to my chest.

  101. ‘Weeping, her voice cracking

  Overflowing with love

  She could not let me go,

  Yet sent me off with blessings …

  How have I stayed away from her?

  Was this fair on my part?

  To fulfil my desire to see the moon,

  I would see her pretty face.

  To satisfy my yearning to hear the nightingales,

  I would listen to her speak.

  To cool my fervent ardour,

  I would touch her body,

  102. ‘Can I now at least once touch her breasts

  That feel like fresh flower buds?

  Will I get an opportunity to kiss

  That lovely lady’s radiant cheeks?

  Will I fulfil my desire to touch her perfumed body

  That smells like soft karpuram?

  103. ‘O lovely lady, your painted feet playing with mine

  Your thighs caressing mine

  Your stomach on mine

  Your breasts against mine

  Your lips brushing mine

  Your face against mine …

  When will our bodies revel in embrace again?

  104./105. ‘Like a golden lotus shimmering

  In the midst of the vast ksheerasagara

  Like the brilliance of the rabbit

  Shining through moonlight, surpassing lightning

  Her curved slim waist like the exotic flower,

  When, oh when, will I meet again this Love Goddess

  And kiss her to my heart’s content?

  106. ‘Her friends must have kept inquiring

  As she must have explained her sad plight,

  “Tell everyone, my life’s been wasted,

  Alas, pity is no good,” she must have said …

  Only now do I understand her.

  107. ‘Her crestfallen face,

  Quivering lips and trembling body,

  Shining eyes tearful,

  Even Manmatha would pity her,

  As she stands at the gate,

  Stunned,

  Awaiting my return …

  How did I remain so unmoved?

  So unthinking?

  108. ‘She dislikes sleeping on the bed

  Preferring my chest

  She dislikes sitting on a chair

  Preferring my lap

  She dislikes eating sweets

  Preferring my lips

  She dislikes listening to the rudra veena

  Preferring my voice

  She cares not to call her maids

  Prefers to call
only me with love

  Such an embodiment of goodness,

  Have I forsaken,

  Can this be anything but a curse from the Almighty?

  109. ‘Seeing her get dressed heightens my love

  Even reapplying her bindi, she pleasures me

  Refreshing her make-up, she excites

  Moving her thighs, she allures

  Embracing me tightly, she attracts

  Changing postures, she whets my lust

  Rearranging the flowers on the bed, she seduces

  Artfully, she alternates

  Fuming and forgiving

  Pleading and cajoling

  Respecting and teasing

  Adept at making love

  She rules over me

  I cannot bear being separated from her any longer!

  110. ‘Her breasts heave

  Hair spills over

  Her bindi smudges

  Eyelashes flicker

  Sighs turn to groans

  Sweat runs down her cheeks

  I remember

  Our satiating intercourse

  In the very depths of my mind.

  111. ‘Trembling thighs, loosened sari and marked lips,

  Sweating face, dishevelled hair and bindi smudged,

  Smeared sandalwood, heightened sighs and quivering breasts,

  Swaying gait, love uncontrolled and exhaustion

  After making love, as semen pours,

  I imagine my love standing beside me.

  112. ‘Bashful she still beckons,

  Fearless and standing tall

  Touching me, squeezing me against her breasts,

  She revels in delighting me

  Teasingly, loosening her clothes

  Pressing her thigh to mine

  Slapping me gently on my cheek

  She fills me up with desire.

  113. ‘Stylish and artful, she kisses me lovingly

  Appreciated and adored for her beauty

  Lauded and praised for her experience

  Lively and spirited is she

  Who else would have such vitality?

  Who else, except her?

  114. ‘Many have I seen

  Many have I talked to

  Many have I made love to

  But she

  Her style, her beauty, her talent

  Are exceptional.

  The ecstasy of our union

  I’ve felt with no other,

  She, the only deserving one.

  115. ‘As I enter her, she opens her eyes wide,

  Eyebrows rise,

  Feigned anger colours her face,

  “O! you pitiless man,

  Surely a god without sympathy threw me at you!”

  She says, coquettishly closing her eyes,

  Content.

  116. ‘As I make love over and again

  With force and passion,

  She half opens her lotus eyes,

  Smiling sweetly, she encourages,

  “Wonderful … That’s the way …

  This is good … Excellent … Don’t stop!” she says,

  Seductive.

  With such words, she allures,

  Can I ever forget her sweet voice?

  117. ‘Pressed against me,

  Her breasts touching my back,

  Lower back pushed against my thighs,