Appeasement of Radhika Read online

  Inspired as they are

  By the vision of Purushottama, my lady!’

  85. As the maids sang his virtues,

  She with the dishevelled hair,

  Listening to them,

  Walked languidly about the garden.

  86. And as she meandered

  Amongst myriad flowers and verdant greens

  Colliding with mango trees, crashing into bushes

  Restless and agitated

  Anxious and confused

  Unsteady of mind and body

  She cursed the Fates

  Until her able maidens

  Held, comforted, consoled her.

  87. Fighting shy, seeing the sari slip

  The sun ran off to the west

  If he, an enemy of kaluva flowers,

  Could feel for Radha,

  How much worse would the others feel?

  88. The redness of dusk spreads visibly,

  As though Manmatha is incensed,

  Angry at the separation of these lovers.

  Darkness shrouds as though Kamadeva’s

  Maya envelops the wanderers.

  Stars appear as if Kandarpa

  Has created balls of fire to strike down Surya.

  The moon appears to be the chakra

  In the hands of Ananga.

  Like the fragrance of jasmine,

  Moonlight envelops the earth

  As though the Love God

  Has covered it with a mammoth, white tent.

  89. As the tulips flowered,

  The lotus wilted

  As chakoras longed for moonlight,

  Jakkavas chirped

  As the courtesan and her lover settled their differences,

  Married couples arose satiated.

  As the Love God got ready, sharpening his arrows …

  90. Love tormented her within and without

  A soft breeze wafted

  As songbird and parrots, swans, nightingales

  Surrounded her, tormenting her.

  Restless as her pain grew, at a loss, so, so tired

  Seeing the setting moon in the sky

  Set her off.

  91. Unhappy at being alone

  She addressed the moon:

  ‘Born of the ocean

  Brother to Goddess Lakshmi

  Friend of the lotus

  Brother-in-law to the lotus-eyed man

  Plunging me into deep darkness

  Though cool yourself

  Is it fair on your part,

  O Lord of the Tulip,

  To be so unkind to me?

  92. ‘Travelling on the ox of time

  Preying on separated lovers,

  Making their lives miserable,

  You call yourself a king?

  Yama are you, the King of Death!

  93. ‘Your brothers and sons

  Accept you not,

  Wandering as you do through the night.

  Even Ravana and Ditija have you outdone!

  You I cannot trust, son of Yatri.

  94. ‘Abducting your guru’s wife

  Beating up Brahmins and restraining brothers

  Acting with discrimination

  Is what you do …

  O king! To hell and oblivion will you fall!

  95. ‘Holding poison in his throat,

  The wandering mendicant with the begging bowl,

  Smeared ash on his body

  The great Ugradeva,

  Was a fool to keep you on his head,

  You wanderer of the night!’

  96. Then, in despair, the despondent lady addressed the god of love:

  97. ‘Born was he along with poison,

  The moon can do nothing but harass beautiful women,

  That’s fine;

  But you, born of Padmini and the lotus-eyed Vishnu,

  O god of love!

  You too are as fickle as your maternal uncle, unfortunately.

  98. ‘Having made an enemy of your uncle, the moon

  Having assumed your father’s mantle to torment me

  Are you trying to kill all women?

  Oh! How could you?’

  99. Still unhappy, she continued her rant:

  ‘Is this fair on your part, O breeze from Malaya?

  Changing directions, blowing hot and cold,

  Captivating hearts with your gentleness

  Do you blow from Lanka where women are forcibly abducted?

  Are you capable of that too?

  Are you the older or younger brother of Ravana?

  I know not …’

  100. Deeply depressed, she then addressed the various birds:

  101. ‘I could imprison you for

  Conspiring with the hunter of cranes

  I will donate all that’s yours to the crows

  I could dethrone you, with help from the gopikas

  I could crush you under my feet with help from the dark clouds

  I can wear you down with my complaints

  And control your dancing with help from the lotus-eyed one

  You parrots who have turned red with anger

  You nightingales who sing incessantly

  You swans who strut at leisure

  You peacocks who shriek as you please.’

  102. Thus she lamented long and loud …

  103. Radha, her heart throbbing with grief,

  Said to her friends around her:

  ‘Where is that parrot who is Manmatha’s vahana,

  Who only helped him burn me with his arrows?

  God, my fever only rises!

  104. ‘Why hasn’t the pretty parrot returned?

  Where has it gone?

  Did it lose its way?

  Did it reach the Lord at all?

  Did it see that thief of hearts?

  Did it present my case to him?

  Or did it to succumb to Souri’s sweet words?

  105. ‘Who is the lotus-eyed eyeing now,

  That my right eye twitches so?

  Whose lips is Souri attracted to now?

  That my red lips itch so?

  Which of those maidens preoccupies him now,

  That my shoulders shake uncontrollably?

  The one who lies on Adi Shesha, who is he courting now,

  That my thighs ache so?

  Who is the woman who controls him now,

  That my body trembles?

  O! Why hasn’t that parrot returned?

  What can the reason be?

  I can’t understand, my dear friends!

  106. ‘Even when my lover merely thinks of another woman,

  My head starts to hurt.

  Now there is nothing but pain

  Could this be anything else but love?

  107. ‘I can’t but remember him

  Strumming on the veena

  Laughing and singing with pleasure

  His shining garments showing though

  Dishevelled bed sheets

  As colourful anklets tinkled noisily …

  My heart beats furiously

  I feel so lost

  O! I sense Souri returning!

  108. ‘Seated on a mast elephant

  Led by mahouts moving languorously,

  As if approaching me

  Seated on a wild white charger,

  As though approaching me

  Followed by sword-wielding soldiers

  Drawing close to me

  Accompanied by maids whose toe rings tinkle

  As if he is drawing close to me …

  109. ‘As he partakes of paan

  That ladies offer from either side

  His eyes focused on me

  Stealing my heart

  As if Souri has come home to me

  I can see and feel nothing else!

  110. ‘His necklaces swing

  His sword slaps against his thigh

  His upper cloth hangs limp with sweat

  Smudged with kasturi

  My voice breaks

  Is Shrihari m
aking his way through the crowd?

  Is this real or an illusion?

  111. ‘It’s acceptable for young lovelorn maidens

  To feel Manmatha’s painful arrows.

  But alas, here I am, depressed and low

  Sensing Hari both within and without.

  112. ‘Have there not been lovers before?

  Have they not been separated?

  Did they lament thus?

  Did they wander as though bereft of life?

  Why do I talk thus?

  O dear maidens, truly I shouldn’t have

  Spoken ill of Hari, he who walks like an elephant.

  113. ‘That epitome of grace and beauty

  Of all that is generous and regal

  The one who is sensuous but dignified

  What stature, what sensitivity,

  What pleasure, what loveliness he possesses!

  How unlucky am I to not possess such a Lord.

  114. ‘When I kiss him, he kisses me back,

  Saying, “Here, my lady, I’ve repaid your loan.”

  When I press my lips to his, he does the same,

  Saying, “Lovely lady, this is a feast in return for your feast.”

  When I place my cheeks against his, he does the same,

  Saying, “My beautiful tressed lady, we are equal now.”

  When I embrace him, he cuddles me back,

  Engaging in intercourse, he responds eagerly,

  Saying, “My fish-eyed one, this is fair exchange!”

  How playful is my young Krishna!

  How long will I remember?

  What shall I do?

  115. ‘If I say, “Don’t press your lips against mine, they’ll tease me,”

  He does it all the more.

  “Don’t pull my hair,” I say, “our secret will be out,”

  Irritatingly he messes my tresses even more.

  “Don’t press my breasts, it makes me shy,” I say

  He playfully scratches them with his fingernails even more.

  “Hurry, I hear voices, finish it fast,” I say.

  But he prolongs the act

  Making love all night long.

  “Be silent,” I say, but he jabbers on even more

  “Quieten your laughter,” I say, and he chuckles loudly

  His antics fill my heart

  Why does he torment me so?

  116. ‘His clear eyes and kind words

  His playfulness and melodious music

  His sweet face and long, curved neck

  His strong chest and dignity

  His gracious lips and perfumed hair

  His bountiful grace and generosity

  His proud shoulders and radiant face

  His sly glances and loving looks

  His attitude

  His actions

  His richness

  No one else has them,

  No one can forget them.

  117. ‘Afraid of staring at him long and hard

  Inviting bad omens as it were

  I did not look at him to my heart’s content

  Afraid that they may be ruptured

  I did not kiss his lips to my heart’s content

  Afraid that his chest may crumble under pressure

  I did not hold him to my heart’s content

  Afraid that if I prolonged the act he would tire,

  I did not make love to my heart’s content

  Afraid that it may cause pain

  I did not press my cheek against his

  I thought Nandasuta’s love would last forever …

  Not end so abruptly!

  118. ‘The moon that promised serenity earlier on,

  Now glares at me, aggravating me.

  Manmatha, who was a friend and companion,

  Has turned into a killer now.

  Cool breezes that once offered succour

  Now threaten to blow me away.

  Giving me all that I needed,

  Surabhi chases me like a common cow now.

  Fire scorches and arrows sting like bees now

  Friends have turned into foes

  Is it because Krishna cares no longer for me?

  119. ‘Cool me down with kumkum

  Apply sandalwood to my forehead

  Alas, nothing cools my ardour!’

  Thus utterly dejected, sorry and unhappy,

  Radha sat still

  Waiting …

  120. When suddenly like a thunderbolt loud

  Like Kamadeva thrown off his mount

  When struck by Shiva,

  Winging his way across the horizon

  Appeared the parrot green …

  121. Suddenly animated,

  Seeing the parrot approach,

  Curly-haired Radha arose excitedly,

  ‘Come, O parrot mine, come!’

  The bird came as bid, settling on her wrist,

  Despondent

  Dejected.

  122. As the sweet-tongued parrot

  Settled on her arm,

  Radha, her lips shaking, nose ring twitching,

  Sweetly inquired:

  123. ‘Did you see him, my Lord?

  Did you glance at his lovely face?

  Have you heard my Lord’s words?

  Did it ignite your passions?

  Did you sit on the Lord’s chest,

  While your injuries healed?

  Did he receive you courteously?

  Did you experience his playfulness?

  Did he run after that woman,

  While I lamented here alone?

  Dear parrot, life is unbearable without him!

  124. ‘Devaki’s young son,

  Vasudeva’s child

  Yashoda’s favourite,

  When can I see him?

  Brother of Baladeva,

  Life and soul of the gopis,

  Greatest of Yadavas,

  Souri, Arjuna’s brother-in-law and Lakshmi’s consort,

  Did you see him, O parrot?

  125. ‘Pray, my pet parrot,

  Why don’t you answer?

  We can’t foretell our future …

  What’s to happen will happen, so tell me true.

  When you have come to offer yoghurt, why hide the bowl?

  Just tell me!’

  126. Hearing this, the parrot,

  Clearing its throat, steadied itself, and said,

  ‘O sweet-voiced beautiful lady,

  The other day, you sent me to fetch Krishna …

  127. ‘But my dear lady, what can I say?

  How can I describe

  What I saw at Hari’s house?

  For surrounded was he

  By thousands of young women.

  128. ‘His broad chest is immeasurable

  Eyes reach the ends of his face

  Smooth, soft cheeks

  Shining complexion

  Ruby-red lips

  Arms long and majestic

  Feet like fresh leaves

  Neck like a conch

  A peacock feather on his crown

  An enchanting smile on his face

  Arousing all around him

  Was the divine Gopala chakravarti.

  129. ‘With his flower-decked hair loosened,

  Walking regally with his friends,

  Inspecting the love garden,

  He was the very picture of perfect loveliness …

  130. ‘As one gopi tried to press him against her breasts,

  Another made kissing gestures.

  As one demanded he love her like Radha,

  Another pressed her cheeks against his.

  One beauty addressed him with gentle sweetness

  While another pretended to be angry.

  A curly-haired siren blew air kisses

  While another devotedly pressed his feet.

  One touched him playfully

  While another tried to seduce him.

  131. ‘“This is no time for talk …”

  So thinking,

&
nbsp; I perched on the mango tree,

  As the young ladies gathered around …

  I watched silently.

  132. ‘One gorgeous maiden chided him,

  “You cunning man! I admire your guile …

  Abandoning our friend to the whims of Manmatha,

  Is it fair you play with maidens here?”

  133. ‘Realizing she was Ila’s friend,

  He embraced her charmingly

  Getting her to promise

  Not to mention this to Ila!

  134. ‘Ignoring the stunner

  Staring lustfully at him

  Turning away from the approaching beauty

  With desire written all over her

  Overlooking the seductive woman

  Stripping her upper garment to attract him

  Shying away from the charmer

  Who was loosening her hair and approaching him lustfully …

  135. ‘His hair hanging undone

  His necklace loosened

  Anklets resounding

  Body sweating with trepidation,

  He thinks only of Ila.

  136. ‘As Souri walked into her room, the young beauty, blossoming on love and lust, breasts heaving under her plunging neckline, yearning shining in her eyes, desire overpowering her lovely face, approached the rogue Krishna, Lord of Lords.

  She then embraced him, dragging him forcefully to the bed and started to seduce him, herself completely aroused.

  137. ‘Surreptitiously then

  Entering the room

  Hiding behind some dolls

  I perched,

  To witness their performance.

  138. ‘The room was decorated for his arrival, perfumed with jasmine and sampangi flowers, their fragrance wafting through. Silver plates were laden with fruits, sweets and tambulam, filigreed silver pots were filled with sandalwood paste and cool, delicious wine.

  Music played softly in the background. And, in the centre of the room, stood a large bed strewn with rose buds and jasmine on which lay down Ila and Madhava.

  139. ‘Teasing seductively

  Touching tenderly

  Laughing lustfully

  Whispering sweetly

  Ardent kisses preceded the playful foreplay

  Of fervent embraces and telling bites.

  Whispering sweet words of encouragement,

  “Ah! How good is that! Well done! O God!

  Wonderful, fantastic, don’t stop!”

  With what words can I describe this?

  140. ‘As Kamsa’s killer came to embrace,

  She coquettishly stepped forward

  Pressing her breasts unto him with fervour.

  As he pressed his lips against hers,

  She responded fervently.

  As he drew his nails over her bare back,

  She did the same on his cheeks.

  141. ‘And thus they indulged

  Exploring pleasure

  Different postures, differing styles

  Regaling and pleasing each other.

  142. ‘As Krishna tried different bandhas,

  She responded with ease.

  And as he climaxed,